woensdag 9 maart 2011

A memory of memorial moments

(Written some time ago, in a galaxy not too far away... )

I found myself sitting in my brother's car this evening, right when the memoriam started for the victims of World War II. We parked the car on the side of the road and listened to the two minutes of silence that are held annually on the 4th of May.

The silence somehow seemed so more meaningful this year than other ones, at least to me. A silence cloaked in the sound of wind and rain. I followed the raindrops dripping down on the windshield, fighting the wind on their way down. All that could be heard was the rain and the wind. Perfect sound of nature to remember the victims of one of the most brutal acts of mankind. And it made me so sad. Not necessarily the WWII rememberance an sich, but the entire picture that filled up my head.

I thought about love. How it once slumbered somewhere deep within my heart, until it was awakened by a certain spark. How it then peacefully dwelled on the surface of my soul. How it was bombed to a thousand pieces, fighting to survive. Fighting against enemies that once were beloved ones, fighting betrayal and knives in backs, fighting against the loss of reason, against an overwhelming hostility.

How it eventually survived, deeply scarred, emotionally broken, dried up and completely devoid of trust. How it tries its fucking hardest to cling on to that tiny spark of hope still to be found deep within. How it realises it has to learn to trust again. How it realises living in the past and holding on to grudges doesn't get anyone anywhere.

And I realised how difficult just that is.

And I thought about The Perks of Being a Wallflower. How Charlie wonders why broken hearts have to be so personal, since someone else would have broken your heart if it wouldn't have been that particular person.

And I thought about the millions of personal tragedies during war. Of the millions of personal tragedies today, anywhere. And I had to fight my tears because it really made me so sad.

So I looked at the rain, listened to the silence, and felt really bad for this world we have created.

And all I hope for right now is a smile from anyone, just a heartfelt smile, sparkling into my eyes. Because then I will know that hope is still alive, within this world, within my heart.

I haven't felt like this in so long
Wrong, in a sense too far gone from love
Strong, I haven't felt like this in so long
Wrong, in a sense too far gone from love
That don't last forever
Something's gotta turn out right
   -Alice in Chains

Geen opmerkingen:

Een reactie plaatsen